About

In 1994 my good friend Dr. Joel Miller, and I opened a Tae Kwon Do Studio in Fort Myers, Florida. We had very few students, but after putting a big bright sign out front with "Tae Kwon Do" in large letters, we were ready for our Grand Opening! It had great visibility much to the landlord's chagrin-we were breaking the building code. However, I had no classes scheduled that evening, so I continued working in the studio. A small, scholarly-looking man walked into the studio inquiring about classes. I told him we had a class scheduled for the next night, but he said that would not work for him. I did what any enterprising martial arts instructor would do and offered him a private lesson on the spot. To my surprise he agreed and as I worked with him, he told me a little bit about his back ground. He held a position as a department head at a very prestigious private school. He seemed nervous but he tried very hard to do the lesson and ended up soaked with sweat at the end of class. I gave him information about classes and as he left, he shook my hand and thanked me for fulfilling a dream. A martial arts class had been on his to do list for years.

I started a regular schedule of classes the following week, and my first private lesson student came back for regular classes. He had been training with me for several years, when he told me he had stopped a much larger man trying to mug him and his five-year-old daughter. I am a Master level Instructor and teach Tae Kwon Do and Hapkido and my student had been training in both arts. We were getting ready to start a class when another student walked in and thanked me for saving his life in front of the other students. He had been struggling with a drug addiction and the class gave him the structure he needed to beat his addiction. It surprised, and pleased me, even though I really did not feel like I could take credit for anything.

In a small very quiet voice after everyone was gone my scholarly student said, "I know how that guy feels". Confused, I ask him what he meant. Do you remember my first lesson,” he asked? ‘I remember it very well,’ I replied. He looked away for what seemed like a very long time, and in a very small voice finally spoke. "I had decided to go home to commit suicide, when I saw your TKD sign. I always wanted to take a martial arts class so I decided to treat myself…take a lesson and then go home and kill myself. I had the gun and the bullet; I had researched how to do it with one shot, and that was my plan." Astounded I asked him, ‘Why?’

"I thought my wife and I were headed for a divorce, and I missed my daughter, and my wife. My best friend had just committed suicide. I thought if it worked for him it will work for me." ‘What stopped you"’ I asked? "You did", he again replied! "I felt like all the kindness had been sucked out of the world, my world anyway. You were so kind and it had been a very long time since anyone had been kind to me. I forgot what it felt like. I’m not blaming anyone, I just felt so alone. I loved the lesson and it became a lifeline for me. Had you been a jerk I would not be alive today, and the funny thing is I do not even know who that guy is anymore-the one that wanted to kill himself." After a long silence he said, "Thank You!"

In the end only kindness matters!

It was a hot miserable night in Birmingham Alabama in the late 1970’s! The temperature still hovered above 100 degrees, and I found myself in a very bad part of town. I stopped into a Church’s Fried Chicken to place an order for food, and waited. There were several people ahead of me waiting in line. Suddenly the door opened and in walked a young man in his late 20's dressed in a long heavy coat with his hands in his pockets. Thirty seconds later in walked another man dressed in the same fashion. Within two minutes there were four men in the room placing themselves in each corner of the room. They never spoke a word or looked at each other and I knew things were going to get bad very soon.

I walked up to the first man, stood very close and stared eye to eye for 5 seconds. Five seconds is a very long time. I then moved on to the next man. I then walked to the center of the very small room and waited... staring ahead... never looking at any of them. Every time my turn came to order I would motion someone else to go in front of me. Having decided who, I was going to take out first I waited...we were standing very close just as I wanted it to be. Fighting multiple attackers in an enclosed area has its advantages if one is well trained, and I had been trained very well in Tae Kwon Do and Hapkido thanks to my instructor, Yong Hill. We five stood there for five full minutes, motionless. Five minutes is a very long time to remain still. Finally looking at each other they made their move. As if an unspoken command had been given, they all took their hands out of their pockets, looked at me and walked out the door. They got into a car and drove off.

Logic would dictate that I should have left but sometimes training and instinct takes over. The following week they were all arrested after having robbed another place and injuring some of the employees. When asked why they left with no words spoken, I replied, "I was an unknown element. Predators look for easy victims and they were aware that I was something unexpected, not taken into consideration and therefore outside the parameters of what they expected, could or would happen."

Sometimes in life what does not happen can be just as powerful as what happens!